In Tribute . . . As I watch the Boston Marathon, I like to think that somehow, somewhere, and in some way, the spirits of Officer Sean Collier, Martin Richard, Lingzi Lu, and Krystle Campbell are looking down on the start of the race–knowing that they are remembered lovingly by family, friends, runners, and “Bostonians” from every state and country, and proud that we all carry on–standing strong together–determined to defeat hatred and violence and equally committed to build a better world for all! God bless each of these brave souls and their families and also all those who were injured in the bombing. We will always remember and honor you!
I was there–in Texas–no, not in Dallas, but in Austin, the next stop on President Kennedy’s trip through Texas. I was 12 years old then, and I not only deeply respected John Fitzgerald Kennedy as our nation’s President, but I truly believed that I loved him, as well, as a young, vibrant leader who would lead us into both the outer reaches of space as well as into a new prosperity in America. In my young, idealistic innocent mind and heart, he would almost singlehandedly lead us into a more kind, more just nation and world. The poverty of which I was just becoming aware would be no more. The prejudice and racism which I saw when I stared at the separate water fountains and restrooms at the pro wrestling (rasslin’) matches I attended monthly would dissipate and then vanish altogether–vestiges of another time and place as the new age of Camelot convinced so many of us that there really was a shining city and fleeting wisps of glory to come.
I was in seventh grade then—in junior high, and we were so excited, so absolutely thrilled to be getting out of school early to go to the parade in downtown Austin–the parade in which our President would smile that broad smile of his and offer us all a friendly, energetic wave–the parade which was–tragically–never to be. My brother Geoff–one year my junior (and my best friend, as well)–was the first to sense that something was amiss. As Austin was the capital city of Texas, Geoff was privileged to have Governor John Connally’s son in his sixth grade class, and when young Mark Connally was called suddenly and urgently from class, there was a sense that something was definitely wrong.
Hearing the news, I was stunned—we ALL were stunned and shocked and grief-stricken–beyond my ability to describe it. Dismissed early, we all went home to watch the tragedy unfold on the national news—black and white TV–but burned into our consciousness–believe me–in living color.
I remember the depth of emotion I felt in the days to come–the overwhelming sadness and despair–as we watched the assassin himself killed and then the funeral procession for the President, the salute by John-John, and then shared sad, bitter tears in the realization that not only was President Kennedy gone, but that somehow, things would never be the same again.
As a twelve-year-old who loved to write, my grief flowed from an aching heart just as surely and continuously as the ink in the cartridge pens we used in that day. I wrote the following words:
THE DEATH OF PRESIDENT JOHN F. KENNEDY
by Mitchell R. Grosky
Our leader has departed–
His heart, his soul gone too.
His memory will long remain
in everything we do.
Our lives, our dreams were shattered
on this outrageous day.
Our eyes are filled with tears;
Our President’s passed away.
He tried so hard for freedom–
for rights for one and all.
He tried to keep us happy;
How could this great man fall?
He tried to make our country
greater than ever before.
He tried to do all this.
Yet hatred sealed the door.
It was a beautiful morning–
More beautiful than ever before.
No one knew or had any idea
of what Fate held in store.
Suddenly three shots rang out,
and hit him in the head.
A short time afterwards,
our President was dead.
It must have been a madman
to do a thing like this!
His aim was sharp and careful;
His bullet did not miss.
An unforgivable act
was carried out this day.
The world is deep in sorrow;
our President’s passed away.
I remember the poem word for word, as my beloved mother had me repeat it verbatim so many times over the years for our relatives and her friends. As a retired English teacher, I look back at it with mixed feelings–the forced rhyme and curious, childlike wording all too evident to someone who spent his life focusing on the power and beauty of the written word.
Yet, as I recite the words once more–as I–and all of us–acknowledge the passing of 50 years since our President’s death, my eyes once again fill with the tears of a future that was never to be–of a President who though imperfect in many ways–still made us believe in ourselves and in a better America and a better world.
I think that I was raised to believe that we all must do our parts to make the world a better place, but–looking back–maybe it was this particular time in my life–this oh-so-sad time–that forced me to finally look in the mirror and to face a solemn truth. Perhaps that was the time that I first saw and accepted that it was OUR job–MY job and that of my three brothers and one sister–and all my friends who were growing all-too-quickly toward adulthood…..that it was our job to do something good and kind and decent–maybe even noble with our lives. The world should be a better place because one has lived–that’s the way one person said it.
That was the lesson I learned from one of the saddest days in my life–that we can–and we MUST–make a difference.
Don’t let it be forgot
That once there was a spot
For one brief shining moment that was known
Whether Camelot was real,
or just was an illusion,
I can tell you that it was real
in the mind of this 12-year-old boy.
So many years later,
I thank President Kennedy for leaving that lesson–
that message to me
and to so many others throughout the world.
Having watched carefully the President’s speech on Syria this evening, I want to say–unequivocally–that I was not only very impressed with the President’s clear and compassionate explanation of his thinking on the Syria crisis, but am even more impressed by what he has managed to accomplished with his very skillful use of the credible threat of military force combined with behind-the-scenes attempts at diplomacy.
Most intelligent analysts that I have listened to in the past hour or so have agreed (a few reluctantly) that if we had been told a year ago, that Syria and Russia–because of the credible threat of a military strike ordered by President Obama–would have agreed 1. to admit that they DO have chemical weapons; 2, that they would agree (finally) to the chemical weapons treaty that they have long refused to sign; and 3. that they would be willing to hammer out an agreement to give up those weapons to the supervision of Russia, the U.N. and other countries—-IF we were told that that all of that would happen within a year, then we would have considered it a MIRACLE.
Those who know say to make no mistake: it is ONLY because of Obama’s threat of force that there may be a diplomatic solution to this problem. It seems to me that the President is putting into action here the thoughtful diplomacy that he talked about when he first ran—and is combining it with the strong military he has always said is important.
Unfortunately, this President can NOT win with SOME of you. Some said he should use force, but apparently he didn’t do it quickly enough. Some said that he should not use force; he should go to Congress. When he did that, some said that he was weak; he should have just decided on his own. Some said that he should not use force; he should use diplomacy. When he sent Sec. Kerry to talk diplomatically and when he spoke to Putin in Europe (where most experts figure he told Putin clearly that we were ready to use force) and when we now have a possible diplomatic solution–many say that it is not Obama we should thank and that Putin and Assad will not follow through on any commitments.
Yet isn’t that the risk of any treaty or agreement? Should we, then, never undertake a treaty for fear a country may violate it—-or should we take steps as Reagan AND Obama have said to (trust, but) VERIFY???? In my mind, this is a great thing that this administration has accomplished–not with force–but with the threat of force and the skill of diplomacy in answer to Assad’s atrocious violation of international law in using chemical weapon to murder 1000 adults and over 400 children. Please, for once–give credit where credit is due. If this were Reagan or Clinton or Kennedy, Teddy (Speak softly but carry a big stick) Roosevelt or even Eisenhower who accomplished all of this, people would be acclaiming their genius. Be fair.
What frustrates me is that people can still be so negative–even insulting–toward our President when he accomplished all that I mentioned above (in Paragraph one–points 1, 2, and 3) with only the THREAT of military force—with no lives lost—not even one? To many people, that is an historical accomplishment. Most prominent Republicans even believe that he was RIGHT to go to Congress and to give them a chance to debate—which they have done! Sorry, what he has done in the past 3 weeks—with the help of Sec. Kerry—is what future historians will say was brilliant–and courageous—just as they now say about Kennedy in the Cuban Missile Crisis.
Well, Chris Matthews is getting attacked and pilloried all over the Twitter Universe today because he apologized on behalf of all white people for all the abuses that blacks have had to endure. His final remark in an interview in which his two very accomplished guests spoke about their bad experiences (prejudice, discrimination profiling, etc.) many years ago as young black men was the following:
“We have to continue this conversation, gentlemen, privately and on television….I mean, a lot of people out there — I will just tell you one thing. And I’m speaking now for all white people, but especially who have had to tried to change the last 50 or 60 years. And a lot of them have really tried to change….And I’m sorry for this stuff. That’s all I’m saying.”
NOTE: Please see the link below for the entire transcript of his interview with Val Nicholas, vice president and creative director at NBC News, and former Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele.
My view, though a bit nuanced in some respects, is a dissenting one. Sure, I think it was presumptuous and inappropriate for Chris Matthews to say he was speaking for all white people. He went too far; he should have just apologized (if he felt it necessary to do so) for himself. He could have added (if he wished) that there are many other white people who feel as he does. That would be an accurate statement.
Speaking for myself, I know that our treatment of black Americans is one of the stains on our history–as is our treatment of native Americans (still called Indians by some Americans). Slavery and the later Jim Crow laws were an abomination–as are the vestiges of slavery–the civil rights struggles, subtle and blatant discrimination, prejudice, and profiling. I wish with all my heart that it had never happened–that it were not happening STILL today. I wish that it were NOT true that far too many black children are born into poverty, and that others who are born into better circumstances still experience racism–as children, teenagers, and even as successful adults in all walks of life. Yet, unfortunately, it IS true–prejudice still exists and for the black child and adult, it is often ubiquitous. It exists at every level of society.
Is EVERYONE prejudiced? Of course not! I know that I and so many–so very many–of my friends, family, colleagues, and acquaintances strongly believe in—and PRACTICE–judging people NOT by their color (or their religion or their ethnic origin) but by the content of their character. As a teacher and a principal, I taught this fairness, respect, and kindness day in and day out–as did my colleagues—as do so many of you as parents. Still, I feel terrible about what black families have had to endure in the past–and what many continue to endure. For me, the apology works, I would have offered it myself–and have done so previously. The key is that Mr. Matthews (despite what I feel were the best of intentions) should have focused on himself and his own feelings and apology, and should not have tried to speak for others.
I can’t conclude without noting, however, that apologies should NOT be our main focus at this point. The overarching issue is what can we DO–and what are we GOING to do–in order to ensure equal opportunity and equal treatment for all Americans–regardless of race, religion, or ethnicity. Let us try to spend more time, thought, and energy in discussing THESE questions, and not pile on Chris Matthews for an earnest, albeit unwise, apology.
This week saw the release of the Rolling Stone’s Magazine cover with the article about the alleged terrorist. The cover has created outrage across Massachusetts and many in other parts of the country, as well. My question: Why not a Rolling Stones Cover featuring the HEROES of the Boston Marathon? The magazine could still have an article (if they wanted one) on how the young man became a monster on the INSIDE of the magazine. If anything, they could put a picture of the alleged bomber into a small insert on the cover, alluding to an article within. I tried to show what, in my opinion, the cover could look like if the editors were more concerned about the feelings of the 300 plus victims and the people of Boston– if they were more concerned with glorifying the HEROES of that day, rather than the alleged terrorist. I want to note that I have just finished the article and I found it to be insightful and valuable in understanding how this young man became an (alleged) murderous bomber, though I found the portrayal to be a bit overly-sympathetic. My point is not that they should not have written the article–only that their choice for the cover was a poor one. What do you think?
Note: Thanks to John Tlumacki, David L. Ryan, Darren Mccollester, and Bill Greene for the photos of the heroes–which I combined into a collage.
The Importance of Making Good Choices: The Recent Cases of Paula Dean and Aaron Hernandez –originally posted on June 26, 2013
“It all comes down to the choices you make!” Over the past 40 years in education, I have made that statement or ones like it thousands of times to students and to my own children as elementary principal, teacher, and parent. I have said it to them in the classroom, in my office, in the cafeteria, out on the playground, and on the soccer field. And I have had a great deal of company in saying that. So many teachers, guidance counselors, paraprofessionals, school nurses, and parents have their own versions: “Take your time and make the right choice” or ”Be careful not to make a bad choice” or “Life is all about choices.” Sometimes I tell children (as my wife has always said that SHE was told) “When you have a choice to make, pretend that your dad (or mom) is perched right there on your shoulder” and think “What would my dad or mom want me to do?” or finally “What is the RIGHT thing to do?”
These thoughts are especially relevant and close to my heart this week as the news reverberates with reports on the cases of two very different media stars–one a darling of television’s Food Network–Paula Dean, and the other a New England sports hero–Aaron Hernandez.
In Mrs. Dean’s case, what has her food empire in hot water are the reports of her using the “n-word,” making racist and anti-semitic jokes, and singing the praises of a hypothetical plantation-style wedding with Blacks dressed up in tuxes and waiting on Whites. Thus far, these reports have resulted in her having her contract with the Food Network terminated after eleven years. She also lost her very lucrative contract as spokesperson for Smithfield Farms. All of this from not thinking carefully BEFORE repeating a racist joke—from making a poor choice in what stories to tell or what words to use to describe a group of people. It apparently doesn’t matter that many of these offenses may be years old. Many people may believe that she continues to feel and/or speak this way. Many more may wonder if there are still additional people to come out of the closet who can report on offensive language she has used more recently. Choices have consequences.
The second case continues to unfold in the headlines today as the police have arrested Mr. Hernandez–star tight end for my own beloved New England Patriots who recently honored him with a five-year 40 million (yes, you read that correctly) 40 MILLION dollar contract. As I gaze past my computer towards the television news at this very moment, I see that Aaron Hernandez has now been charged with first degree murder and five weapons charges. Whether he is guilty or innocent of such charges, one does not have to wonder how many opportunities he had that evening to make a choice–either a good choice or a bad choice. It seems that he must have made some incredibly poor choices that night–choices that have resulted in his being released from the Patriots and much more seriously, being charged with murder.
Unfortunately, these are just the two most recent cases of famous people making the worst possible choices—choices that impact their lives in the most negative and destructive of ways. Dan Levy of Bleacher Report points out that just in the NFL, ”Just this year there have been more than 30 players arrested for myriad offenses, ranging from driving under the influence to assault to carrying a loaded gun in an airport.”
The following is a very partial list of just some of the hundreds of famous athletes convicted of crimes in the past few decades: Ray Lewis, Plaxico Burress, Dexter Manley, Art Schlichter, Donte Stallworth, Rae Carruth, Thomas “Hollywood” Henderson, Ryan Leaf, Mercury Morris, Bam Morris, Lawrence Phillips, O.J. Simpson, Michael Vick, Marion Jones, Steve Riddick, Barry Bonds, Lenny Dykstra, Dwight Gooden, Denny McLain, Pete Rose, Daryl Strawberry, Ugueth Urbina, Allen Iverson, Charles E. Smith, Sly Williams, Trevor Berbick, Riddick Bowe, Esteban de Jesus, Mike Tyson, Tonya Harding, Craig MacTavish, Boris Becker, Roscoe Tanner, Oscar Pistorius (Wikipedia). Most of these you recognize from American sports leagues, but there are many other names from countries and sports all around the world which are listed on this wikipedia site: Please feel free to check out crimes committed by athletes in soccer (world football), bodybuilding, Canadian football, cricket, cycling, darts, diving, figure skating, Greco-Roman wrestling, competition fishing, horse racing, rugby, motorsports, sailing, skateboarding, snooker, surfing, swimming, and martial arts.
Outside the sports arena, the list of celebrities who have had problems (some minor and some major) with the law goes on and on: Chris Brown, Kanye West, Roman Polanski, Joyce DeWitt, Phil Spector, T.I., Sam Shepard, Coolio, Katt Williams, Coutney Love, Amy Winehouse, Lil Wayne, Charlie Sheen, Britney Spears, Mel Gibson, Tobey Maguire, Soulja Boy, Andy Dick, Rick Springfield, and Big Boi (thanks to Wonderwall) R. Kelly, Kim Delaney, Yasmine Bleeth, Carmen Electra, Dennis Rodman, Barron Hilton, Robert Downey Jr., Jennifer Capriati, Daniel Baldwin, Mickey Rourke, Steve-O, Lil Kim, Ozzy Osbourne, Fifty Cent, Vanilla Ice, Axl Rose, Christian Slater, Marilyn Manson, Lindsay Lohan, Eminem, Hugh Grant, Kiefer Sutherland, Paris Hilton, Kobe Bryant (thanks to AllWomenStalk???)
Politicians making bad choices ( in the past decade) which resulted in charges or convictions or resignations included the following: Mark Sanford, Anthony Weiner, Elliot Spitzer, Tom DeLay, Jim McDermott, Jim Traficant, Dan Rostenkowski, Buz Lukens, , Ronald Blackley, Scooter Libby, Jesse Jackson, Claude Allen, Jack Abramoff. Of course, Bill Clinton’s choices in the way he conducted his personal life–while not resulting in a conviction or resignation–greatly tarnished his presidency and impacted society and families in inumerable ways.
What is my point here? It is a simple one–or rather, simple to state, but much harder to put into practice. As parents, teachers, guidance counselors, principals, clergymen….we need to continue to help children—from the time they are very young through adulthood–we need to continue to help them to slow down, to think, to consider the available choices, to weigh the pros and cons and possible consequences, and to make good choices–the best possible choice in every possible circumstance. We need to consider hypothetical circumstances in which one might find himself or herself. We need to dialogue about choices available. We need to role-play. If a student DOES make a bad choice, we need to make sure that the students recognizes the choice the child had available to him or her, the choice which the child made, and the possible choices which would have led to a much better result. The problem? Good schools—like those here in our Athol-Royalston District and in many other districts in our state– are already practicing all of these strategies. So what is to be done? Do we just throw up our hands and assert that children, teenagers, and adults will continue to make poor choices? Hardly! Giving up is not an option–can never be an option. We need to dedicate more time to teaching both children and adults good decision-making skills.
How can we do that, however, when schools are already jam-packed with time on reading, language arts, math, science, social studies–as well as art, music, health, physical education, and other subjects? How can we do that when we need to continue to stress academics and time on learning so that we can compete with school systems in other countries, in addition to being competitive in the global market. How can we do this in the same 180 days of school we have had for decades?
One solution is to extend the amount of time we spend in the classroom. I have long been an advocate of significantly increasing the time that students spend in school to accommodate both the needs of students and the needs of a more complex and competitive world. Either increase the school day by an hour a day, or increase the number of days in the school year. Increasing the school day by one hour a day–every day Monday through Friday– adds 180 hours –the equivalent of 30 extra six-hour days to the school year. On the other hand, school systems could simply begin to increase the school year by adding additional days every year to the academic year. Next year would have 182 days, the year after 184, 2015-16 would have 186 days, 2016-2017 would have 188 days and so on–until we eventually reached 200 days per year. It is important to note that currently China has 260 days of school per year, Japan-243, Germany-240, Zimbabwee-225, Austrailia-220, South Korea-220, Israel-216, Russia-211, Netherlands-200, Scotland-200, Thailand-200, Hong Kong-195, England-192, Hungary-192, Switzerland-191, and Finland, New Zealand, and Nigeria all with 195. Of course, increasing the school day and/or school year definitely would require additional funding for salaries commensurate with the added teaching time, but that is another subject for another blog entry.
A very important final point, however: all the names mentioned above–all those convicted of bad behavior at least and serious crimes at most–are famous individuals. Of even more importance is the undeniable fact that every day, every month, every year there are people in our own communities–young people and adults–who make bad choices (all-too-often horrible and disastrous choices–with irrevocable consequences) and who end up in real trouble with the law-or even worse. Sometimes these choices end in serious injury or even death. Sometimes we see their names in the police news or the court news or the obituary page, and sometimes we may not. They are–all too often–our neighbors, our friends–sometimes even our family members or relatives. For their sakes and for the sake of our children and our society, we need to find a way to ultimately help children, teenagers, and adults to make better choices. It is the smart thing to do, and–more importantly–it is the RIGHT thing to do!
Although I am a lifelong Massachusetts Democrat, I once made the mistake of voting for Mitt Romney (back “home” after saving the Olympics), and though I was hopeful, I almost immediately began to regret my vote–as did thousands of other Democrats who crossed party lines as well as independents and even some Republicans who realized how much he let our Commonwealth down. The show is an indictment of Romney’s term in office, and is an excellent counterpoint to all the boasting that he has done about all that he supposedly did for our state.” I feel strongly that studying Governor Romney’s record in Massachusetts is important if one is to understand what he might do if he were elected President. It is important to note that earlier in his campaign, Mitt Romney asserted, “If people want to know what I stand for, they can look at my record as Governor.” Consequently, I explore Governor Romney’s record in Massachusetts in the following four areas: jobs and the economy, education, women’s issues, and leadership style.
The Show is entitled “Won’t Get Fooled Again: Romney’s Record as Massachusetts Governor.” I am a retired Massachusetts teacher and principal, a professional photographer, a husband and father, and a political blogger. I have become very active in state and local politics since joining the Athol Democratic Committee this year. I produced the eleven-minute slideshow which features a quite a number of my award-winning Massachusetts photographs in order to spotlight Mitt Romney’s record as governor of Massachusetts.
At this point, the video–which has been online for just over three weeks–has been viewed and “liked” by nearly 50,000 individuals on the internet–from 48 out of 50 states across our country, including an especially large number of viewers from such battleground or hotly contested states as Ohio, Florida, Colorado, Pennsylvania, New Hampshire, Michigan, Minnesota, Virginia, Arizona, Indiana, and North Carolina. In addition, the video has drawn substantial and significant interest from over 17 foreign countries, including Canada, the United Kingdom, Spain, New Zealand, Peru, Sweden, Austria, Japan, Ireland, and Saudi Arabia.
The video has been featured on several major Political websites: “Voice 4 America,” “The Boomers Voting Democratic,” and “I Will Vote for Obama in 2012,” and “Positively Barack.” In addition, it has been viewed on the following websites: “Formidable Republican Opposition,” “Colorado Democrats,” “Obama for America – Pennsylvania,” “The Huffington Post,”and “MittRomneyVideo.com.” The afore-mentioned sites have a viewership of well over 200,000. In addition, it has been posted and re-posted innumerable times on “Twitter,” “Zomobo,” “Twikle,” and–of course–”Facebook.” The video has been “shared” by viewers on their own websites over 2500 times, and it has generated over 400 comments–overwhelmingly positive–from interested individuals.
If you wish to view the video, you can go to the following link http://tinyurl.com/cmz2ywu or just Google “Grosky and Won’t Get Fooled Again.”